Westside Doula

Fathers vs Doula.  Do I have to choose?

No.  While both father and doula are committed to supporting the laboring woman, their jobs do not conflict.  No doula can offer the love and commitment that her partner can offer.  A doula is there to support both mother and partner.

How can a father/partner help during labor?

Women are not meant to labor alone.  Her partner can help her by: getting her walking, hugging her, supporting her body while it's contracting, making eye contact through contractions, making sure she stays hydrated, massaging her back/shoulders/arms/legs, etc.

How can a father/partner help during birth?

Hold her legs, cut the chord, offer encouragement, photograph, hold her hands, massage, be the first person to hold the baby, name the child, etc.

But there isn't much for anyone else to do once the baby is born.  It will be all mommy all the time, right?

Of course babies need to nurse, and until you decide to introduce the bottle, your baby should be feeding at the breast.  But in-between there are lots of places for partners to step in and bond with the baby.

• Bath time:   Men who choose to take ownership of bath time speak of the strong and intense bond with their new child.  Have mom bring the baby in to you while you shower and then come back later after s/he is clean.  This works for both a shower and a bath.  You don't need any special baby bathing station, your baby can get clean when you do. 

• Changing diapers:  Think of it as one-on-one time with your new baby.

• Elimination  Communication (EC): Encouraging your baby to use the potty early is very rewarding, cuts down on diapers (and the need to change them), and is very fun one-on-one time.  Some fathers are more comfortable starting this once the baby has some head support.

• Singing:  Babies often respond strongly to and more easily soothed by the deeper tenor of a man's voice.

• Baby wearing:  You baby will quickly learn your smell and your voice if you use a sling or wrap to hold your baby.  Wait until there is some neck support for the ones that dangle your baby.

• Napping:  Babies love to fall asleep listening to your heartbeat and smelling your smell.  You both need the rest, and your baby can rest on your chest!

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